Esra Kellermanns

Art is my therapy

When I first realized that a part of me is an artist, I was on an emotional rollercoaster, trying to find out where my place in this world was and who I am. I took an art class during my A levels, more because I had to than thinking it could be something I like. Boy was I wrong. In fact, I pretty quickly discovered my love for creating art and even went so far to consider studying it. But as always, fearing rejection by the universities due to lack of talent, made me choose a safer way and ignore this part of me for a very long time. Every now and then I would finish a painting, realizing how much I miss it but I never really let myself engage in the passion that was boiling in the deepest corner of my being. 

During my recovery treatment for an eating disorder, I slowly reconnected to my creative me. For me it’s an outlet to discover, connect and understand the emotions that I’m faced with daily. I mainly draw and paint, which seems the best way for me to connect with myself at this moment. I am a huge fan of the cubistic and expressionistic timeframe but the freedom that artists have, especially with abstract art, illustrating really anything, while also allowing the observer to be mindful about emotions that they experience is in my eyes simply genius. Because, everyone experiences emotions differently. And if we are honest, art is all about the emotions in a given moment / situation.

My current work focuses mainly on my own emotions on a daily basis. I let my feelings choose the color for the current project. During this process I usually get an idea of what I want to project. However, most of the time I let my emotions guide me once again. Being creative is a way for me to connect with myself in a deeper, much more honest way, that helps me to deal with everyday situations. Which is also why I might plan to do one thing but end up with a total different piece 😄